| Location | Toronto, Canada |
| Age | 27 years |
| Cause of Death | Cystic Fibrosis |
| Date of Birth | 06/01/1978 |
| Date of Death | 15/05/2005 |
| Visitors | 2,701 since 06/05/2007 |
| Creator |
From the time I gave birth to my dear Matthew, 27 years ago, I knew that there was going to be such a special life ahead of me taking care of this incredible human being. Within the first 24 hours of his birth he was transported to The Hospital for Sick Children where he would remain for the next few months. It was during this stay at Sick Kids that Matthew was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. I remember my thoughts at this time were that this was just not possible there must be come kind of mistake.
After accepting that we had to deal with CF from that time on, things settled into a regular routine – also having an addition to the family, his brother Mark. Throughout the years Matt did very well and did not require many hospitalizations, although he did participate in certain studies at Sick Kids Hospital which required him to have to take time off from school and remain in the hospital. Matt was quite willing to do this as long as there were no needles involved. He looked at this time as a fun time because the hospital, being the greatest children’s hospital anywhere, had so many special things going on and Matt looked forward to these times.
Matt continued to do well through his teenage years and it wasn’t until his 20’s that his health started to deteriorate. He started to spend more time in St. Michaels Hospital (adult CF) and even then never complained that he had to be there. He enjoyed the time he spent downtown as this was one of his favourite places and as long as he was back in time for his meds he was free to come and go as he pleased. One of his most memorable times during his admissions was the time he got his driver’s license. This was in July of 2004 and was one of Matt’s sickest times ever. The staff on ward 6Bond did not feel that Matt should be taking this test and tried their best to persuade him to do otherwise. Of course Matt being Matt was not going to be discouraged and the more he was told not to go the more he decided he was going for it. I will never forget when Matt got out of the examiner’s vehicle, gasping for breath and not being able to move, just leaning against the fence with a smile on his face, I just knew he had passed his test. Matt said a few times that the reason he passed was because he frightened the examiner so much, not being able to breathe he didn’t want Matt to become worse than he was.
Matt’s admissions to St. Mikes seemed to get closer together and for longer periods of time. He tried to hard to hide things from me and not let on that he was actually sicker that I even thought. That was just Matt, not wanting to worry me. On one of his admissions his heart rate was so high, at one point he really thought that this was going to be the end and he was going to die right there and then. He didn’t mention this to me, I found about this from one of his close friends after he passed. When going out for a short walk I tried to get him to take a wheelchair just in case he got tired and needed to rest but Matt would have none of that, he would not give in to this awful disease. He was not going to let CF win without giving it a good fight and boy, did he fight.
Matt decided at the beginning of 2005 that he needed to get a lung transplant. His words were “I can live with the symptoms but I can’t live with the restrictions any longer” At first Toronto General Hospital wanted to wait a little longer and Matt was very disappointed and angry at their decision. It became more apparent at his next admission which was just one week after TGH told him they wanted to wait, that he needed to be listed. He spent 3 more weeks in St. Michaels Hospital and then home for one week. That Saturday, April 30th, at 4:00 pm he got the call that there were lungs for him. It seems so strange, thinking back to that day, that everything that should have been, was. Everyone that was to help us with certain things when the call came was at our house even down to the person that was going to take care of our dog. Matt went over every detail of what was going to happen to him when he got that call, to his girlfriend Lisa, earlier that day. He had bought me a Mother’s Day gift the week before and made sure that I had it that weekend. Matt had been off of his food for a few days prior to this and of course as soon as he got the call eating and drinking was out of the question so it seemed so ironic that he hadn’t eaten at all that day and hardly touched a drink. It almost seemed that Matt sensed he was going to get that call that weekend.
Matt went down for his surgery at about 12:30 am and we knew this would be the longest wait we would ever have to endure. By 9:30 Sunday morning, Dr. De Perrot, his surgeon, came to tell us that the surgery had gone well except that his heart had become a little erratic at times. Over the next couple of days things seemed to be going along as expected then the fevers started to set in, saturation levels dropping, blood pressure going low. This went on and on, some days everything was stable then they would start to go downhill. Unfortunately the worst thing happened and that was the cepacia bacteria that Matt grew in his old lungs, was now in his new lungs, not only that but infection had set into his bloodstream. Being so resistant to most drugs now, a combination was difficult to find to treat him. It seemed for awhile, that they had found the right combination but soon it became apparent that the infection was taking over his body and he just couldn’t fight any longer.
We stayed with Matt, talking to him, stroking his face, assuring him that everything was going to be okay and that there would be no more suffering for him to endure. Matt fell asleep for the last time at 12:00 noon on May 15th, 2005.
Matt’s younger brother Mark gave everything he could to his older brother. Never have I seen such love, compassion and devotion to a sibling as Mark showed to Matt all these years. Mark would keep Matt company instead of going out enjoying himself, he would chauffeur Matt wherever he needed to go, run errands, visit him in hospital, the list goes on an on. To say I am proud of my two sons would be an understatement.
Until I’m with you again my Son……..I love you now and forever more.
Ma
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT
Happy 34th Birthday to you my dear Matt.
It's hard to believe that it was 34 years ago today that you came in to this world and even though you are no longer with us, you are loved just as much now as the day you were born.
We're going to commemorate today by going to Marks and having your favourite chinese dinner and then releasing balloons to you.
Love you forever Matt
Ma
Merry Christmas my dear Matt
Another Christmas is almost here Matt and this will be our 7th one without you here. Christmas is and never will be, the same without you my sweet Matt.
Tomorrow Mark, Heather, Morgan, Meghan and little Matthew will be here and we will just have a quiet Christmas together. I'm sure the girls are getting so excited that Santa will be coming tonight.
You would just adore these little ones Matt and even though they never got to meet their Uncle Matt I make sure they know all about you. Morgan knows that she has an Uncle Matt watching over her in Heaven and now little Meghan is beginning to talk about her Uncle Matt.
Merry Christmas in Heaven Matt.
We love you and miss you so much.
Ma.
To My Brave Son
It is now 6 years since I have seen your handsome face and heard your voice Matt. These years seem to have gone by so fast but at the same time it seems like such a long time ago.
You are on my mind constantly Matt, from the time I wake up in the morning until I go to bed at night. I go over and over in my mind, those last two weeks that you were in the hospital and often think of the "what ifs".
I know to have you back with us would be so selfish on my part as you were suffering enough and I know that where you are now is the most beautiful place, free from any kind of pain.
Until we are together again my dear Son, rest in eternal peace.
I love you now and forever Matt.
Ma
It's hard to believe that 33 years ago today you came into this world Matt, I remember that day like it was yesterday. You were such a tiny little one, all 3lbs 10oz of you.
I hope you are having a great time on your birthday in heaven with all of your angel friends.
Missing and loving you more and more Matt.
Ma
My Dear Matt
Here we are, another Christmas with an empty space at the table where you should be sitting.......oh how my heart aches.
I know you are here with us, especially watching over your dear nieces. I'm sure you've heard little Morgan mention your name, she knows she has an Uncle Matt, she knows who you are from your pictures and that you are "in the sky". As soon as Meghan is old enough, she will know all about her Uncle Matt as well.
Merry Christmas my Darling Matt...........until we are together again, loving and missing you.
Ma
Hi Matt
Once again another year is coming to a close and a new one begins. I can't believe it's been 5 years or 1825 days and 5 hours since I last saw you, it just seems like yesterday. I can't say often enough how much we all miss you you Matt and even though I have been blessed with 2 beautiful little grandaughters, Morgan and Meghan, my heart will still never be whole.
We are in the process of doing our walk in a couple of weeks and it makes me so happy to see how many people want to walk with us in your memory Matt. I'm sure you'll be looking down at us with a huge smile on your handsome face when we do the walk on the 30th.
You'll be in my heart forever Matt.
I love you
Ma
xoxoxo
Hi Matt
Today, Mothers Day, I am thinking back to this same day 5 years ago when you were in TGH recovering from surgery.
This is the update that was written in your Carepages Matt, exactly 5 years ago today.
Happy Mothers Day to all!!Sandy is already
having a greatMothers day as Matthew has
given her the best present of all...Good numbers.
He has remained stable throughout the night,and
his numbers have improved!!.The oxygen level
has been reduced,as has his sedation,and his
blood pressure/heart rate are still stable.As it is
still early,he hasn't opened his eyes yet today,
but all that matters is that he stays on the course
he is on.Your prayers,well wishes,and messages
are still extremely important...
We were all so optimistic Matt, that you were going to be just fine.........never did I once think otherwise.
Even though I celebrate Mothers Day with Mark, Heather and your little nieces, Morgan and Meghan, there is still a huge part missing from making it the most wonderful day but I know you are watching over us with a smile on your handsome face.
Loving you and missing you so much Matt.
Ma
Happy Birthday Matt
Hi Matt
I'm sitting here thinking back 32 years ago today when you were born. I remember worrying about you right from the first time I heard you cry and never stopped worrying until you lost your battle almost 5 years ago. I never worry about anything any more Matt, there is nothing left in this world that can hurt me as much as losing you has done.
What I wouldn't give to turn back the clock and have our time over again.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR MATT
I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH.
MA
Merry Christmas Matt
This is our 5th Christmas without you here Matt and it doesn't get any easier as the years go on, in fact it gets more difficult as the years pass. I know, each Christmas, exactly what gifts you would have wanted to be under the tree and it just hurts so much that you aren't here with us to be able to enjoy them.
These past two Christmas's especially, have been so special with your new niece Morgan last Christmas and now her beautiful little sister, Meghan shares her first Christmas with us. You would have spoiled them so much Matt, I know that for a fact.
I know you are watching over us today and everyday Mattand when I see that brightest star shining up above, I know it will be you.
I love you Matt
We'll be together one day.
Love your Ma.
Love is all we need.
Hey Matt,
I can't believe that it was around this time eight years that we met for the first time. Where does the time go? I still remember how nervous I was as you guided me through downtown Toronto like a pro (it was my first time!), but you really were such a little brat for tricking me and jumping off the subway train and leaving me to go on to the next station! haha, I remember how scared I was, and I knew you felt horrible because it took over an hour for you to find me again. There was no way anyone could stay mad at you for long though!
I've been thinking about you a lot over the last few months. I know I've felt you stop by on occasion (when I'm awake and in dreams) and it always makes me smile. I'm sure you're looking out for everyone in your life and stop by to see your family (including your two nieces!) frequently. I think of you whenever I'm in Belleville, whenever I'm at Laurie's and see her collection of MASH dvds, and most recently I was thinking of you as I sat down to watch "Across the Universe" with all the Beatles songs. I can't decide whether you would have liked it or not; I'm leaning towards no (because really, what covers are better than the originals?), but I know you would have watched it anyway, just because!
No one you can save that can't be saved... Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time - It's easy, 'cause all you need is love!
I'll see you around, Matt. Miss you bunches.
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